Self mirroring

Recently I dont feel happy.
Seems like I have to manage an maintain others feeling.
Getting closer to due date of marriage, I have to deal with others opinion.
Parents want this, and my fiance want another way.
Dad enthusiastic renovate the house (we will live together with my parents for a while-hope not forever).
I’m not too care about it-coz live there actually is not my option.
I feel like they (esp my dad) want us to live forever here…huh!!

It’s about the hotel matter-that really irritated us.
After searching and asking some hotels, finally after I took a day off, I got Radisson hotel.
Location is in the heart of city, not too expensive, comfortable room.
But after that my family heard that it’s haunted.
Well, I already knew it-but it doesn’t matter.
I can’t feel it. But my dad ruin it. He said that the hotel was hospital for injured and died colonial soldier. The bad one. He doesn’t want me to be ‘object’ for their pleasure in the first night.

When my fiance knew it, he very irritated and angry.
It doesnt make sense!
He feel that I always says yes with what my parents want. He feel that his opinion is useless.
We had argued and fight 2 days ago.

I think he offend by it. But I can’t just leave like that. I cant ignored what my parents said.
Looking back, I guess I am a obedient daughter. But I dont want to please others feeling. When mine fulfilled????!!!
Actually I dont wanna always become yesman-but if I think something is tolerable and make sense I will reconsider bout it.

Today is my b’day
But my fiance just sent short text. Happy birthday. Before that, I thaught he forgot it.
Very disappoint me. I just wanna today as another day. But it’s not complete without his wishes.
Last night he didnt call. Along this years, when I will have my bday, he called me H-1 on 12am. Except this year ( Today is not important anymore for him (

Should I call him first or not?

Being known

Kick Andy

I just read Andy F Noya story about his history with rich people at Kick Andy here.
Not all rich people, but mostly of them- are arrogant, think that they are important people-so they can do anything they want toward others. Maybe they think that they have superior power than others who are not as lucky as them

Andy’s story make me back to few days ago, when I handled some documents from my clients. They want to apply new pasport. Yesterday my colleague, who handle the imigration things asked me, why I didn’t told him that our client is ‘important people’.
What?? how important they are?? So, my clients are wife of ‘kapolsek and wakapolsek-and her children’ (or maybe kapolres and wakapolres…I forget..hehe).

How did he know?? Well, when they arrived, the police at the immigration salute them. And after my colleage asked the police, he said the truth. Then he assisted the women and the children to accelerate the process.

But in fact, they didn’t want special treatment like that. When my colleage asked, why they didn’t told him before, they said that they didn’t want to be known, actually. They just want to be ordinary people.
Wow! I trully appreciate it. These days, attitude like that is very rare.
As family member of important people, they choose to be not arrogant, and low profile.

I can imagine myself, if I were in their position-I will do the same thing.
For me, very uncomfortable if I get over reacting service, or attention.
I just want to be known as who I am. Not because of my title. In spite of known as the wife of important people or else, I rather being known as myself. Because of my attitude, because of my opinion, because of what I stand for.
Hopefully, I still like this, when I gain my success life in the future. It’s just about our choices.

Andrie Wongso-The Learner

I read this book.

Andrie Wongso is one of well-known motivator in Indonesia.
He has published motivation books, CDs, etc long time ago, but I just interested to buy his biography recently.

Andrie Wongso-Sang Pembelajar is written by his wife, Lenny Wongso. It’s a gift for her beloved husband, Andrie-in his 50th birthday.
The book is so great. It told about Andrie Wongso’s process and growth. It’s about struggling and not give up even in the darkest moment in life.

Mrs. Lenny invites me (as the reader, of course) to watch and learn how Andrie and she struggled, from zero to hero!
Andrie Wongso was from poor family and even didn’t pass elementary school, while Lenny was well-educated woman. They met many challenges to be together and get better life (the hardest was bless from Lenny’s mom).

What makes me buy this book?
Because I’m interested with what make Lenny decided to married Andrie? What was in her mind?
Her background was very contrary with Andrie.
There are so many differences between them.

I just look at myself. Me, and my fiance. We growth in different environment. Not as dramatic as Andrie-Lenny, but we do have discrepancy in financial.
Reading this book inspires me to move on. It’s encourage me as well. There are some similarities between Andrie’s thought and my fiance.

Just try to always positive thinking. As Andrie’s philosophy: “Success is my right!“
Success is my right too. By this book, Lenny and Andrie motivate me to keep study new things and not give up to gain my dream!

Dare to dream

So many things in my head that I wanna write.
Hhhh…where I should start???

Ok. Here it is.
……….

Usually, I have a motto:”Let it flow by the water“.

I don’t have specific goal or dream in life that I want to achive.
I’m a plegmathis woman, and I am enjoying myself in a comfort area.
Even my dad is not a rich man, but I grown up in a family that has enough financial support so I’m not disturbed by money issue.

When my friend asked me, “What is your main goal in life?” I couldn’t figure it out at that time.
But it still didn’t ‘wake me up’.

Now, my point of view begin to change.
I think it’s began after I got clearer vision about my romantic relationship.
It seems that I can move onto the next step of relation with my boyfriend (which is my fiance now)
Thinking about my future with him make me start to imagine how I want to live my life.

I can’t depend on my family again. I will start with my own.
What kind of family?
I want to raise my child (or children) without a baby sitter to take care of him/her.
But right now I have full time job, and may live far from my office. That will be a problem.

Once, when I felt depressed and think about quit from job my parents encourage me.
The reason was (beside I already stuck and bored with my job) to prepare and make foundation to achieve my dream.
My plan is work at home. So I can look after my child while still get extra money.
How?? By internet!

So, I began to learn internet marketing. Although my major in college was IT, but I didn’t get internet knowledge that time. And even my last job is internet related, but I didn’t interested to know deeper. Instead, I pay almost 200.000 rupiah/month (about $2) to take an internet course online.
Yeah…ironic isn’t it?
Hei…no word for “too late” !!:D People change! I have to move on.
Though the progress is slow, but I try to motivate myself when I’m tired or not focus…hehehe.
It’s for our future. Me and my own family.